Showing posts with label Oyek stories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Oyek stories. Show all posts

5.29.2013

Manila where my monsters hid

After reading (Tita) Angela Stuart-Santiago's commentary on Dan Brown's quip in his latest book about Manila being the "gates of hell" (a logical choice, given the Catholic church's anti-RH stance and the oligarchy that the Philippine government is, as the post says), I remembered how as a kid I would tag along with my Papa to his office in Zacateros, one of the narrow streets that crossed Ongpin. We took the jeepney from Roosevelt to Sta. Cruz, got off at Avenida, and crisscrossed our way through the bakeries, hardwares, electronic stores, etc. until we reached his office. As a 5-year-old, seeing diced hopias made in front of you was a treat you tire of less easily than the diced hopias. Let's not even talk about the smell of chestnuts found everywhere in those streets-- holygee, the taste of chestnuts won't hold a candle to their smell! Then there's the incomprehensible chatter that was probably a mix of Hokkien, Tagalog, Bisaya; told me early on that the world city I inhabited could not be a quiet (or peaceful) one. There were shop keepers (some who my Dad knew), coffee shops (including one which he frequented), noodle houses (wonderful). There were also beggars at the foot of the LRT and barkers in the perimeter of Sta. Cruz church; early exposure to the fact that while Papa and I did not enjoy many luxuries ("middle class" would be pushing it), there were families, men, children with fates worse than us.

There were also the batang kalye (streetkids) of Zacateros who were my age and who became a sort of barkada. When I was still allowed to play with them, these kids took me to their haunts, streets alleys narrower than that where Papa's office stood, and showed me alleys cracks on the wall where they lived. Oh, I remember trying my first smoke somewhere in Ongpin, my Zacateros barkada and I saw a lit cigarette on the street, picked it up and took turns puffing. I was so proud of myself that afternoon, I hurriedly ran back to Papa and told him what I just did. After that I was only permitted to wave at them. Eventually in shame when they’ll come around to “pick me up” and I wasn’t permitted to go anymore, I just hid at the back part of the office. Now in writing, I kind of wish that my 5 year-old self recognized that what was novel to me was everyday life for them.

Early exposure to middle class guilt and the warfare that exists in the everyday, salamat Manila.

Eventually all those afternoons I insisted on tagging along because I was Papa's buntot and suffered from serious separation anxiety when I'm not with him was soon no longer. One day I just refused to go because I had started having recurring dreams of Sta. Cruz, getting lost in its streets, taken by "bad people" like those in the movies, etc. etc. 

Some 15+ years later and the nostalgia that happened to old Manila by way of food tours and heritage walks and the city morphed into a "cultural adventure". I spent one birthday doing that, out of nostalgia “for a part of Manila I grew up.”

When peering through the lens of culture, it’s so easy to edit the picture. Manila offers those dumplings you cannot have elsewhere in the city, sniff chestnuts oh-so-easily, and have the best bowl of noodles, but also in Manila is where the warfare of the streets is ever alive, persists, persisted, a continuing sad tragic backdrop.

I wonder what the duo Mayor Erap/ VM Isko has planned. Having come from the streets themselves, let's see?

I remember showing Zacateros to Turtle and Elephant a few years ago; I was hoping one of the Zacateros kids will recognize me, give my shoulder a tap and say "kalaro kita dati." No such luck. Middle class peeps, tough is our luck, but luck is tougher for most of these Manila electorate.  

2.11.2012

A snapshot of papa as a brother, son, and citizen

Today marks my dad's 17th death anniversary. A post to remember him. 


From a letter by my uncle dated January 2003:

(...)
During that summer vacation, our class assignment was to write an essay, "What I Did Last Summer." Manny did my homework. When I returned for my grade VI class, my essay was judged the best. But I was so embarrassed to myself. I vowed that I will always do my own homework, no matter the outcome.
After high school, Manny went to college in Mapua and got his B.S. degree in Chemistry. But he would always come back to Lopez for vacation. There were many times he came to see us in Siain - to bring us fresh clothes, food and allowances and to bring back the dirty clothes for laundry. After our high school, Manny enrolled Auntie Pina and me at Hope Christian for Chinese school and me in pre-Med at UE. We all lived with Albino above Seng Lee Hardware in Alonzo Street. That house burned down; Manny was able to save his slide rule and some chemistry books but not much else. Albino got married and we all moved with him to Nagtahan Street in Sta. Mesa. I believe he was working at Seng Kee Hardware at this time. He then went back to Lopez to help with Awa and Papa in the copra business and he also started teaching Chemistry in the college there. One time, I saw this book "Magic with Chemistry" in Goodwill Bookstore, so I sent it to him. Every year thereafter at the College Science Fair, his magic tricks with chemical reactions was the most popular show there. He was involved in so many activities in Lopez and was very well known there he had so many godchildren (mga inaanak). He was also involved as a coach in the summer basketball league. I believe he was still in Lopez when I left for the US in 1973. I did have a very difficult time for many years in the States. Papa (your Angkong) died a year after I left. I changed addresses several times, I went to Canada and back to the States. It was a dilemma deciding whether to stay here or return to the Philippines. As I was preoccupied with my own survival here, I had limited communication with Manny. But I do remember everybody wanted him to return to Manila; he was just too talented for a small town like Lopez, that the future's brighter in Manila. I wrote him a letter to that effect, and also I asked him if he was interested in coming to the States. But he was comfortable in Lopez and was reluctant to leave. Eventually he did. As you know, he was later appointed Vice-mayor of Lopez when Cory Aquino became President of the Philippines. I returned to the Philippines in 1987 after many, many years of absence. Then Awah got sick and we all had to attend to her until she died in 1992. I was working on getting reacquainted with Manny but it was not to be. His life was cut prematurely by an aggressive cancer caused by tobacco. It was one of my greatest regret that I did not have the opportunity of more time with him. But I do have many memories and fond recollections of Manny that I will cherish forever.
All of these came back as I related them to Mr. Sy. We had a long conversation on the phone.  He was so glad he spoke to me and was relieved to know his friend is now in God's Peaceful Land. As I sat the phone down, I started writing this letter because there is one other person beside Mr. Sy who needs to share these memories of Manny. Memories define us, memories give us strength and purpose. You are not just our niece whom we dearly love, you are also our memory of him. It is for memories the reason for shrines, mausoleums and museums. It is for memories the reason for Bahay Tsinoy - to remember the struggles of those who came before us, to define who we are, to resolve, to face the challenges before us. It is for memories why we are going back to Xiamen, it is where it all started for us. 

God Bless from your loving 
(signed)
Uncle Torry


Along with a few memorabilia I have of my dad (his Jaycee identification card, his unused passport, a notepad), I keep this letter to keep him alive. In moments of panic where I fear that I have already forgotten his voice or that my years of being without him have already outnumbered the years spent with him, I take out his things, look at his handwriting, and then I take out this letter and try to splice myself within my uncle's words.

And I love that not only does my uncle's letter paint a pretty accurate portrait of his brother's several sides, it also captures what he (a sentiment shared among them siblings) thought about their origins, homeland, family, and how important these are to them (common among 2nd generation migrants, I think). A few months after he had mailed me this letter, my Uncle Torry took me, my three aunts (Claire, Anita, Feliza) and two younger cousins to Xiamen, Awah (their mother/ our lola)'s hometown. Eight years later, Uncle Torry, Auntie Claire and I went to Burma to meet Awah's sister's descendants.

Of course, it's also a never failing reminder of why they took me in after papa had passed (of which I will be eternally grateful for). :)


The safest place

Today marks my dad's 17th death anniversary. A post to remember him. 


The arms that could protect from loud firecrackers and the voice that could silence any fear;
with Manny on a NewYear's eve, some 25 years ago

12.13.2011

Remembering Lola Opets

The first time I met Lola Opets, I thought she was a boy. Her cropped hair, her standard button down shirts, her usual black pants, and the sneakers- these were different from the more feminine shirt/ pants/ short hair look another aunt sported. For one, Auntie Pesa looked mighty flat-chested and moved quite briskly. Really, to my 4-year-old brain, she was more like my Uncle This-and-That rather than the two aunts who were my early pegs of what women are supposed to be like. It's not as if she could talk and explain her womanity to me- she doesn't talk, period. She uses the American Sign Language (ASL) to speak. Auntie Pets was my first exposure to androgyny (fashion-wise) and to a life with a definition of "normalcy" different from  you and me.

Instead of being pitiful, my aunt's life had been fascinating. She did not go traveling off to distant exotic places, but she's been to different nooks and crannies of Metro Manila. One would rarely find her home: she's usually at a friend's house or at a relative's ("She ate dinner at Uncle Ben's because they were having crabs tonight") and though this could be a cause for worry for her sometimes overprotective siblings ("Fairview? She's in Fairview?!" I remember hearing from my Auntie Claire one stormy night who was frantic because they had no clue where she was), all the worrying was just something my Auntie Pets dodged or flat out ignored.

I was a kid around the time that Auntie Pets was working at the restaurant that employed deaf-mutes in Luneta. And as my Dad loved taking me there, it felt like we had a special access pass because we knew a Luneta insider, yo. Her friends would take me to the playground and would give the most expressive smiles. Being a spectator to their world was quite fascinating for a child- all those people who communicated using frantic hand gestures and movements, chattering, complaining, gossiping without sound, just like birds.

When she retired from waitressing, she had a Christian phase where she was very active at a deaf-mute church. This was simultaneous with her caretaker phase, the period she stayed home the most voluntarily because she was the one in charge of a nephew, taking him to and from school, in charge of his needs- and take care of him she would, she won't let a raindrop touch his head if it were up to her.

Lola Pesa, taken March 2006


Auntie Pets had her vices-- food that can spike the blood pressure (crabs, anything ginataan), regular bets on the lotto & ending (a very able taya-ero, she keeps several lotto and ending permutations that she religiously bets on and from time to time wins from), kept a few quirks (she likes caps, things that light up and shine like flashlights, giveaway bags with banks' or businesses' names emblazoned on them) and insisted on sometimes irrational habits (cropped hair with bangs, always with bangs, meticulously cut fingernails, except for the nail on her left thumb which she kept long, refusing to throw away mementos- she has a lot of Guy and Pip fan art). My Aunt, because of the liberties her being deaf-and-mute afforded her, was an adult but stayed child-like most of her life. She was a refuge when things got too heavy.

Auntie Pets was also a reminder: though her "handicap" had always been present, it was never a limitation. She kept a lot of friends who are still around to this day. And if the rumor is true that once upon a time she also fell in love, I wouldn't be surprised- she's just the kind of person who won't say no to life, despite the incapacity to speak verbally and the conservative Tsinoy household she moved in, who, if it were up to them, would rather that she stays at home. The fact that she didn't, that she insisted on being out and about, has always quietly inspired me.

When she moved in with us because of stroke, it was saddening to see she can no longer walk or move without assistance. It was heartbreaking when she can't use the ASL anymore because her signing hand had been paralyzed. Slowly, we see her forgetting how to communicate. But the lesson really is to refuse to be engulfed by pity. Because of what she can't do, her quirks intensified (insisting on keeping a few precious objects by her side & throwing a little fit when she can't reach for them) and so did her silent little rebellions to stay in control (giving money to her caretakers even when she was told not to, refusing to eat bland food). Alongside these, the appreciation she would give back when you give her a few moments of your time to sit and run through numbers with her (she loved to count), to do silly salutes, to show her photos, was precious. She gave the most love-filled smiles, the most forlorn look when she realizes she no longer remembers certain things, and the funniest grin of approval whenever I'd bring around friends or a boyfriend.

Among us Filipinos, our usual attitude towards handicaps is one of wishing that they have a supportive family, that a "supportive family" is the blessing, as if they're burdens. Auntie Pets is one example that we have it wrong. We're looking at it backwards, really, because it was her presence that had been the gift. It was she who was the blessing.

12.05.2011

Lola Pesa

This weekend, a tattoo, a long overdue article, a meetup with a friend- all in the hopes of pushing back what I don't want to face just yet: a goodbye.

And then this morning, a plea- to please buy clothing the aunt will wear for the last time, forever. A request like that just crumbles whatever fortification one has set in place.

She was the bright light in this household. Death is coming for her any moment now; we watch as her blood pressure slowly drops. We're just waiting, really.

Yet, no matter how matter-of-factly I can say that, there's still this sadness and the knowing that I will just  really miss her.