Roti, kopi, & a spot under the shade

Had a dream this morning that I was back in Ilo-ilo, this time as a student of UP Miagao. I woke up, annoyed and not really wanting to get out of bed. I wanted to sleep the whole day away. I wanted my self back in familiar QC. Just like the last week of August/ first few weeks of September 2012, I craved so much for home, surrounded by my friends, family, and boyfriend. I didn't want to be a foreigner passing through, I wanted a permanent (wonderful) job, I wanted weekends with said people above. 

But there were errands to run. And no, unlike August/ September of last year, this country is not completely foreign anymore. 

Yesterday, Ysa posted this verse, Matthew 7: 7-8,

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."



So rather than seriously give in to the strong urge to run back home, I've decided to just storm heaven's gate with some seriously loud knocking and asking, to find the motivation to push through with whatever's left of my course, to receive the courage to once again embrace the unfamiliar and the fortitude to be away. 

Rather than dream Monday off, I finished my errand and, on a whim, got on the train to see the Petronas Towers. Took out some MYR6 (Php75) and bought a kopi-roti (coffee bun) and kopi (coffee) set from RotiBoy (you should try it, fellow stranger). Found an empty bench in the park behind the towers with a full view of the dazzling twin buildings to tell myself you're in Kuala Lumpur now. Be present where you are. 

While the Petronas doesn't really do anything for me, that park with its tourists, benches, fountains, wading pool, and trees has feels like a refuge I can hide in, a safe place in this city filled with unfamiliarity. I made a pact with myself to visit it more often in my last 4 months here. And yes, the pact also includes just taking in whatever life/ the heavens decide to throw my way.

Sitting in the bench in that park, praying, I've come to realize that the Lord has my back, as He always does.  I, an earthly daughter, am welcome to come to Him, to run to Him. There are lessons to be learned in the coming months. There's a blessing hidden in being on my own, such as learning how to be more balanced and how to manage my time well. The blues are within, nagging at me. But then on the outside are the fountains flirting from across my bench and I just have to see that it's a wonderful warm day to be out and that it's good to be here. The facts are that the roti and kopi combo was a knockout, the sky is clear, friends from Manila/family/boyfriend are virtually present and though it appears I'm alone, it isn't like that really. Game face on once again, Malaysia.